Raider Nation Distributing Shields to Fans To Ward Off Errant Russell Passes

Oakland Uber-fan group the Raider Nation is reportedly distributing protective shields to their members in an attempt to protect them from the wild passes of #1 draft pick Jamarcus Russell.

"Mr. Russell, though blessed with a rocket for an arm, has been known to have trouble connecting with his recievers in a big way," said Gregory Baker, head of the Raider Nation Human Resources Department. "These shields will allow our fans to remain safe while watching games."

When asked what sort of protection the Raiders players will get in regards to this situation, Raiders owner Al Davis reportedly said "Have you seen this guy throw? The players have nothing to worry about! It's the fans that need to watch out, and I'm proud of the Raider Nation for stepping up and making these protective devices available to its members."

The shields are reportedly made of a carbon-fiber material, making them light enough for a toddler to hold but strong enough to withstand the bullets of Russell.

"We recommend that two fans be reponsible for the wielding of each shield," said Baker. "This guy could throw a pass through a 747 - he's that strong."

The FTSB is apparently recommending that air traffic patterns be altered during game days to go around Oakland's McAfee Colisseum.

Some ire did remain for coach Lane Kiffin and his staff despite this humanitarian gesture by the Raider Nation.

"What do they think they're doing?" asked one irate Raider Nation mother. "I take my kids to those games - do they think a ten-year old can stand up to one of those passes?"

Baker and the Raider Nation Research and Development team are now looking at new ways to help defend the smallest Raiders fans from the gatling-gun like prowess of Russell. "We're looking at a kids' section that has a protective guard around it - sort of like the Popemobile. A cheaper option would be to hand out free t-shirts to all the kids with targets on the chests - Russell's sure to miss those!"