End of an Era, Beginning of Greater Things

Today, we put our son on the bus to school and sent him on his way. A simple enough thing, something every parent goes through at some point in the lives of their children.

But when your child is autistic, it's a different story. Duncan's only 4 1/2 years old and he's headed off to special needs preschool. So he's going a year earlier than most kids, to get a head start on the skills he'll need to go to regular kindergarten next year. It makes perfect sense to me in my head. He's going to get some great training from his teacher, much better than even the fantastic counselor he had did when he was at day care.

But here's the image that sent me off to work today: seeing my little son, who looks so big when he's sitting among other kids his age (he's pretty darned tall for his age, most people think he's in first grade), looking so scared and small on the seat of that bus as he headed off to school. He didn't cry, he just looked at us not understanding why we weren't going with him. We waved to him and smiled as he rode off.

After we put him on the bus I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to compose myself to be strong for my wife and daughter, who's still only almost two and doesn't go to school any time soon. Not an easy thing to do... I feel so guilty about leaving him.

Duncan was the only one on the bus at that point other than the driver, since he's the first to be picked up. It made it easier to put him on, probably, because he got to pick where he wanted to sit. But as I put the harness on him, all I could think was I need to go with him. I want to see where he's going. I want to tell him it's going to be all right.

He knew something new was up, obviously, because we've been preparing him as best we could. New school clothes, talking about going to school, new books about going to school, and asking him if he's excited to go. But it wasn't real to him, you knew it was just something else to talk about.

Last Friday he got to go to the school to meet his teacher and see the classroom, and also for the teacher to interview Jenn and get to know what she can expect from him. Special Ed is a bit more focused in such regards, and Duncan will be one of two autistic children in the class. She asked everything: what his tantrum triggers are, what calms him, what does he like to do, what does he dislike, the whole nine yards. Jenn said it was a very detailed interview which made me feel good.

So I'm glad that he knows where he's going and that the people there know about him. Duncan's a very high-functioning autistic - he can be very social but doesn't always get the intricacies of human interaction, like seeing if someone's okay when they're crying, or holding a conversation about what he did that day, etc. And he has a few of the triggers where his senses get overwhelmed - mostly noise-related, like fireworks, hand dryers in bathrooms and the like - and he shuts down and panics. But those are few and far between and we know how to deal with it when it happens.

His speech has a few issues - some issues with clarity, and some issues with what's called "echolalia" where he quotes movies, TV, other people, etc. a lot (almost ad nauseum sometimes), though usually in context. For instance, when I was trying to tell him and his sister to come to the table one night for dinner, he looked at me and quoted from the movie Treasure Planet, saying "Stop giving orders." Pretty funny.

It also causes him to misuse pronouns a lot because he quotes whole passages instead of breaking down the indivual words. So if he wants to hang on my arm like a monkey, he tells me "May I hang on my arm please?" because I tell him to "hang on my arm."

One thing that's always been remarkable to me is how the autistic people I've met individually have had a real good grasp of their challenges. I worked with a young man, named Brian, with Asperger's Syndrome, a condition on the autistic spectrum, who was one of the best detail-oriented data entry people I ever met. But he was obsessed with movies and game shows. The first time I met him, Brian told me about Asperger's Syndrome at great length and I was very impressed with how handled himself. He rambled a bit and went into some detail that I probably didn't need, but he wanted to make sure that I understood what was going on.

And another time, when I was trying to get some work done and he stopped in my office to tell me about one of his favorite movies, I told him "Brian, thanks, but I need to get some work done right now" he apologized and moved on, totally unoffended and totally okay with being told. It was very impressive.

And Duncan's not even as severe as Brian is. The school system folks think this is probably the only year that he'll need full-time special ed, though he probably will need a counselor going through school on occasion to help him handle the challenges he encounters. So this is a big, important year for him.

In my head, I know he's going to be okay. His teacher is going to take great care of him. He's going to have the opportunity to master the challenges he has in his life under the care of people who are going to help him as much as they can.

But in my very emotional heart, I am remembering two things:

The look he gave us as he went off to school on his bus this morning...

And the hug he gave me last night before going to bed. He asked me to give him a big hug, and after I picked him up and put my arms around him, he said into my ear "You are my son." And I looked at him and told him "That's right, Duncan. You are my son." Then another big hug and it was off to bed.

My son started school today. And it's the beginning of him growing into the great young man I know he's going to be. But that doesn't make it any easier to see that little boy leaving on the little bus.

What Works for Me in Fitness

I have been training recently for a 5K run in early May. I wanted to change things up a bit in my workout and a bit of running seemed just the thing.

What I'm discovering, though, is that I don't feel nearly as good when I run as I do when I just stick to my bodyweight exercises and sprinting work.

I woke up in the middle of the night a couple of nights ago with a mild migraine, and after lying in bed with it for a couple of hours after taking some Excedrin and feeling horrible, I finally got up and went down to the basement for a few minutes to take in an activity that I haven't done in a while - a wrestler's bridge (as presented by Matt Furey in his book Combat Conditioning).

For those of you who aren't familiar with this exercise, you lie on your back, then arch your back so that your feet and your head are supporting your weight, and you can use your hands for a bit of extra support if you need. You then slowly roll forward on your head until your forehead is on the ground (yes, I have a pretty soft exercise mat).

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS EXERCISE BASED ONLY ON MY DESCRIPTION! Get the above book and learn the proper way to do it.

It sounds painful. It feels great. I stayed in that position for a couple of minutes, rolling back and forth lightly on the top of my head, and belly-breathing as deeply as I could. My back stretched out, my neck loosened up, and my headache went away.

I then got up and did 50 free squats, just to work out some of the kinks. I went upstairs, read for a half hour or so, and went back to bed. I felt great all day Sunday after taking the five minutes to do this.

Today I got up and did my morning run of almost 3 miles. I took it nice and slow. And now I can't wait to get home and bridge again, to work out some of the kinks once more.

I have never felt better from top to bottom than I do when I am on a regular bodyweight exercise routine. Even when I was swimming, I had knee problems (I was a breaststroker and that whip kick was tough on the knees) to the extent where it hurt to go down the stairs.

I never feel bad when I'm doing the bridge, Hindu Pushups, or Hindu Squats regularly. It's strength, stability and stretching all in one. And I'm not selling anything here.

So ironically, I got this email today from the creator of Combat Conditioning, Matt Furey. It hit the nail right on the head again. And yes, a lot of it is a sales job. But it's sales for a product I already have... and I'll tell you right now that it works. I hope Matt makes a fortune selling this stuff be

BIG FAT FITNESS LIES

Hi James,

Hold it. You may be exercising and eating all wrong.

You may have been led to believe a lot of very stupid and untrue things about what
it takes to get fit.

Things like:

* Running several miles per day is the key to getting fit.

* Doing a ton of long, slow distance (LSD) is absolutely necessary.

* Lifting the heaviest weights you possibly can will turn you into a human fire plug.

* Eating five or six times per day will crank up your metabolism.

* Training one part of your body today and another part tomorrow will prevent overtraining.

* Only working out 2-3 times per week is the fastest way to make progress.

My friend, there are pieces of truth in all these lies.

For example:

Long-slow cardio may make you feel good - but if you want to "STEP UP" your metabolism, you're far better off doing a very hard, very vigorous workout that calls upon all your physical and mental reserves. You're better off with a short workout that will never get easy - no matter how often you do it.

Consider the sprinter. He does not do long distance cardio. Yet his body is lean, muscular and powerful.

It is rare to find a long distance cardio person who is well muscled.

He may be lean, but there's no power.

Not only that, but after a period of time - the long cardio workout person may end up suffering from hip, knee, ankle and lower back pain.

Why?

All the pounding on the joints. It takes a tremendous toll on the body.

Instead of the long, slow, dull approach to fitness, consider the following 5 ways to a Metabolism Makeover.

1. Begin doing vigorous full body body weight exercises that force you to lose control of your breathing. If you aren't getting out of breath when you train, your system is NOT being forced to adapt and change. The harder you are breathing, the more
shock to the system. The more "shock" there is - the greater the shake-up in your metabolism. The exercises in Combat Conditioning - http://mattfurey.com/conditioning_book.html cause this to happen and that is why they those who use
them fit FAST.

2. Instead of running or bicycling several miles per day for cardio exercise - train like a cheetah. Run as hard as you can, at full blast, for as long as you can. Run with all your might. When finished you'll be gasping for oxygen. And this gasping is
what turns on the fat burning furnace within.

In Combat Conditioning you'll find sprint workouts you can follow that will turn you into a lean, powerful prey-catching cheetah within 90 days.

3. Practice deep breathing. The deeper you breathe the more oxygen in your system. The more oxygen in your system, the faster your metabolism. Don't just get your deep breathing from vigorous exercise. Get if from the act of deep breathing itself -
done all day long.

4. Eat plenty of fiber rich, water-content foods while avoiding starchy foods most of time.

5. Change the mental picture you have of yourself. As you see yourself in your mind's eye - so you become.

Follow this approach to getting fit fast and you'll catch the eyes of everyone when you walk down the street. Others will instantly sense that something is different about you. And you'll know why.

Matt Furey

Thanks Matt.