New "voice chat" feature proposed for mobile phones - Uncyclopedia

Here's an idea that really could be useful for mobile phones... voice chat. It would actually allow people to use their phones to talk to one another. I think it has some merit.

Student Removed from High School Dance for Wearing a Kilt

What an idiot this principal is. Here is a kid that has done his homework, learned about his heritage, and simply wanted to wear a formal garment to a formal dance. You'd think that the principal would be impressed.

But no. He only saw that "it might cause a distraction." Lord knows we don't want those kids to get out of control at a dance and wear formal wear. This principal at the very least needs to give Nathan a formal public apology, and at best needs to be fired for being an idiot.

Heaven On Earth

It doesn't get a heck of a lot prettier than this...

Vanuatu Residents Must Move To Combat Global Warming

My BROTHER ROB sent this to me. More on the plight of peoples who are losing their way of life due to the gluttony of the west - the residents of Vanuatu are being forced to move inland as their island continues to disappear due to rising seas.

Again, all this goes back to Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s article about global climate change and how it's a civil rights issue. The folks who benefit from the policies that create global climate change aren't being forced to deal with its effects - it's the folks without a voice: the Inuit, Pacific Islanders, poor folks in New Orleans, etc.

A Brief History, But Long On Hostility - ND/OSU

I've long said that there is no rivalry between Notre Dame and Ohio State simply because teams need to play each other more than four times to have a rivalry. I stand by this. But that doesn't mean that OSU fans agree with me.

In fact, I think it's safe to say that they do not agree with me. But I'm intrigued by this article from the South Bend Tribune. It turns out that OSU hasn't changed much in the past 70 years.

1. Their fans yelled anti-Catholic chants at ND players at the 1935 matchup. Compare this to the behavior of the OSU fans when Texas came to play this season.
   


2. When Notre Dame asked the Big 10 questions about OSU players being on the state payroll in Columbus, all they got was the Big 10 commissioner telling them to shut up. No answers at all.
   


3. Woody Hayes was the one who was against resuming an ND/OSU series back when he was coach. Ara Parseghian and Moose Krause were for it. Hayes apparently didn't want any hard non-conference competition. Looks like that Texas game was an aberration this year - usually the non-conference competition in Columbus comes from such powerhouses as San Diego State or Cincinnati.
   

Well, we'll see what happens on Jan. 2.

Critic of Christian Fundamentalism hospitalized after beating

This case reminds me of the murders of Matthew Shepherd and James Byrd, Jr. In these cases, the men were killed for being gay and being black, respectively. In the above case of Dr. Mirecki, the head of Kansas University's Religious Studies department, is an outspoken opponent of Intelligent Design, the philosophy that Kansans treat as science in their attempts to supplant the actual science of evolution.

Race, sexual preference, and now opinions - all seem to be reasons for small-minded bigots and extremists to attack people. Find these guys and put them in jail now.

Is George Bush The Worst President EVER?

Obviously, I say yes. What he's done is split the country just like Buchanan did, but not along geographic lines. So it's much harder to fix the problem. And let's not forget making our country dumber, poorer, more polluted, more hated by the rest of the world, further behind our trading rivals... where do I stop? I can't... can't do it... must..push... "Post This Entry"...

Fiesta Bowl Bound Irish to Meet Ohio State

Only thing I'm gonna say:

1. It's gonna be a really long month.
2. GO IRISH! BEAT BUCKEYES!

Office Door Decorations

I'm not one for celebrating the holidays in the office. For me, work is work, play is play, and never the twain shall meet. And that's not because of any sort of dislike of my office-mates (well, most of 'em), I just don't think it's healthy not to separate that.

But... I had to get into the request for a door decoration contest. So here's my entry. I thought it appropriate coming from the computer guy among all the Accountants.

Rosa Parks Day

Highly impressed today when I got on the bus. One of the front seats of the bus was cordoned off with a white ribbon that was reserving the seat for the late civil rights activist Rosa Parks. What better way to honor the woman who basically jump-started the civil rights movement in the US than to honorarily give her the seat that she wouldn't give up so many decades ago!

One can only hope that the young people of today take the time to look her up and see what there is to see about her.

Bob Bradley Hired as Chivas USA Coach

Only comment:

Good. Now I can hate both at once.

False Claims

As long as the Bush Administration is going to lie to the American people about how the U.S. is dealing with greenhouse gas emissions, the people are going to need to hold his feet to the fire and tell him to stop lying to us.

There's a part of me who thinks that the war in Iraq is still going on because it allows Bush to do whatever he wants to do at home, as few people are paying attention to his disastrous climate-destroying agenda of pandering to mining/drilling interests. The man is giving our country's natural heritage and the health of our citizens away to the highest bidders.

IMPEACH NOW!

Novi sub backs off, baby Jesus stays put

This may surprise you, but I think this is a good thing.

Although I fervently believe that religious paraphenalia of any sort has no place being displayed on publicly-owned property, I also fervently believe that people have the right to display any thing they want on their privately-owned property. To me, that's what the freedom of religion is about. If these folks believe that Jesus was born on Christmas and want to display such stuff in their yard, then that's their right.

Impending COTA Strike Brings Questions

My plan of being a good citizen environmentally and traffic-wise by taking the bus is about to hit a possible snag: a strike by the Central Ohio Transit Authority, or COTA. It's the usual stuff - the workers don't like that the company is trying to cut pay and benefits to stay afloat. But in this case... it's affecting me. And not only is it affecting me, it's going to affect thousands of folks all over Columbus who rely on the buses to go to work, school, shop, etc.

The answers for me are simple - get a bike. I've rollerbladed home from work on occasion (when I felt like some extra exercise), no reason I can't bike it. I've been looking at folding bikes by Dahon so I could keep it in my office when I'm not riding. I've had one too many bikes stolen to go with anything else at this point. And for less than $500 they have some real good ones, it seems.

But what is COTA to do? My riding a bike isn't going to help them at all, rather it'll hurt them to the tune of $480/year if I stop buying monthly passes.

It boggles my mind that COTA isn't absolutely packed right now with gas prices rising out of control and sprawl concerns at the forefront of proper thinking. But people just seem to think that the bus is some sort of pariah. I actually talked to a guy who complimented me for riding the bus every day but then said there's no way for him to do it because he works downtown.

Um... hello? The bus the easiest way to get downtown! There are more routes running into and out of the downtown area than any other! I wish I'd said that to him, but politeness held my tongue for a change.

Anyway, the rant stops here. COTA needs to figure out a way that it can convince car-addicted Columbus that it's better to take the bus than to waste money and pollute the environment with their cars. Good luck getting through to this crowd.

Katrina Aftermath Has Own Sense Of Self

One of the things I truly love about the human race is their ability to take the worst that the world can hand out to them and make fun.

Take the above example: using Katrina as an adjective... particularly the term "Katrina Patina." Great fun poked at a horrible situation.

I wouldn't be at all surprised to see the folks affected by Katrina holding on to those items with the Katrina Patina and passing them down to their kids/grandkids, with stories about how they and their families pulled through the storm and its aftermath and made New Orleans and the Gulf Coast fantastic places to live again.

Given the "help" they've had so far, I only hope they can.

Too Bad Studying Nature Is So Pointless...

To anyone who thinks that

1. Studying nature isn't useful, or
   
2. That we have nothing to learn from non-technologically advanced societies,
   

I give you the above story. Nature can and will kill with what seems like no notice - but you just have to be aware enough to do the noticing. And hiding behind a facade of consumerism and modern technology will only get you killed faster.

Moving my Blog

In an attempt to keep as much of my stuff in one place as possible (I may not be tidy in real life, but online I try to be), I'm moving my blog to Yahoo 360.

Thanks to Blogger for getting me started!

Jamie

Clavijo-Haters Club Growing?

Interesting comments by Ritchie Kotschau regarding Fernando Clavijo. This is now the second time that I've heard of a player mentioning Clavijo by name as a reason they're glad to be leaving their old team.

The first was Brian Dunseth, now of Real Salt Lake but a former Crew defender. I was talking to him during the pre-season media luncheon back when I used to work on the Crew's website (before the corporate hacks decided that they'd rather have a bland, stale, letter-of-the-law website instead of one with panache and good writing). I was relaying a moment when I mentioned that I'd flipped off an MLS coach to his face once (the late Tom Fitzgerald, after he laughed at me for the dorkiness I portrayed to the cameraman for Crew Stadium's big screen as I beat on my drum and screamed as a former North Ender). Dunseth, who I didn't know at the time, was standing a couple folks behind me in the buffet line and commented "I can think of a couple of coaches I'd like to do that to... " and then sort of drew out the name "Fer-nan-dooo... Cla-vi-joooo."

Makes me wonder what it is that Clavijo does to piss off defenders.

A Song For Kilts

A Song For Kilts
Robert Service

How grand the human race would be
If every man would wear a kilt,
A flirt of Tartan finery,
Instead of trousers, custom built!
Nay, do not think I speak to joke:
(You know I'm not that kind of man),
I am convinced that all men folk.
Should wear the costume of a Clan.

Imagine how it's braw and clean
As in the wind it flutters free;
And so conducive to hygiene
In its sublime simplicity.
No fool fly-buttons to adjust,--
Wi' shanks and maybe buttocks bare;
Oh chiels, just take my word on trust,
A bonny kilt's the only wear.

'Twill save a lot of siller too,
(And here a canny Scotsman speaks),
For one good kilt will wear you through
A half-a-dozen pairs of breeks.
And how it's healthy in the breeze!
And how it swings with saucy tilt!
How lassies love athletic knees
Below the waggle of a kilt!

True, I just wear one in my mind,
Since sent to school by Celtic aunts,
When girls would flip it up behind,
Until I begged for lowland pants.
But now none dare do that to me,
And so I sing with lyric lilt,--
How happier the world would be
If every male would wear a kilt!

Facial Fuzz

Decided over the weekend to go with a full beard again for a while... see how I like it. I've got about three days growth right now so I just look unkempt but in a few days it'll be better. Of course, it'll also be starting to itch like the dickens, but that's just part of growing one of these bad boys.

Haven't decided how long, etc., it will be yet. I have some time.

No Escape For Lame Duck Bush

Maybe this is what we need to do to our president to make him accountable to the press in THIS country - lock the doors to prevent him running from his detractors. Not that our press would ask the tough questions, naturally...

Buy Nothing Day

Make your plans now... to stay home! The day after Thanksgiving is normally the biggest shopping day of the year, but this year stay home and BUY NOTHING! Put the corporate hogs on their heels and don't give 'em the time of day... much less your dollars!

Parental Downside

If you're like me, the first song you hear in the morning is indelibly imprinted on your brain for the rest of the day. Well, the past couple days, the song has been from the BBC Scotland kids' show Balamory. Great show for Duncan, he loves it. But the songs are as infectious as bird flu (or so we hear).

At least he doesn't watch Teletubbies or some such crap.

First Snow of the Season

We woke up to our first specks of snow on the ground. One might call it a dusting.

I don't care what you call it, but I call it a wake-up call to get to work putting together my son's sled. Our old landlord found it in his garage (well, our OLD garage) and thought it belonged to us. It didn't, but he gave it to me anyway. I'm going to re-paint it and fix it up as best as I can so Duncan has a real sled to play on. It's one of the old-fashioned metal and wood sleds so it should last forever. I'm thinking of giving it a good coat of paint, touching up the slats, and seeing how that looks.

Might make a nice Christmas present for him.

Honesty in Advertising

It really doesn't get much more honest than this. And I dig the choreography.

Quote of the Day

And this is a Jamie original - just blurted it out on the hospital shuttle on the way back from lunch:

"If actions actually did speak louder than words, the world would be a quieter place."

Poobah In Shock: House Comes Through!

I never actually thought I'd be reading this: the House of Representatives has DROPPED from the budget debate plans to allow environmentally catastrophic oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and also upheld the moratorium on drilling off the Atlantic and Pacific coastlines.

For the past number of years, the Senate has actually been the less reactionary of the two houses of Congress, and when the ANWR clause was left in their budget, I thought hope was lost. But apparently a group of moderate Republican representatives decided to axe the the proposal altogether.

We're not out of the woods yet, naturally - the House GOP leadership/Oil Industry flunkies are going to push hard to have it included in the joint House/Senate final budget, but this is certainly promising. It narrowly passed in the Senate, and I think that we can get the votes to save the ANWR there (especially if the HOUSE can do it).

After that Kansas news, I needed a boost, and this was it.

"And That Wheel Thing? It's Gotta Go, Too!"

The extraordinarily mind-numbingly STUPID state of Kansas just ensured that its children will get stupider yesterday when it required criticism of evolutionary theory in its classrooms. One of the religious nutcases who are on their school board, chairman Steve Abrams, who is on record as saying evolutionary theory is incompatible with the Bible's version of God's creation of life on Earth, commented that "This is a great day for education. This is one of the best things that we can do."

So, instead of preparing their children for a world in which understanding of science is taking a more key role than ever before, Kansas has ensured that those children will be wallowing in the mire of idiotic biblical teachings on science.

Dear Mr. Abrams: yes, evolutionary theory is incompatible with the Bible's version of God's creation of life on Earth. And you know why that is? BECAUSE THE BIBLE IS HEBREW MYTHOLOGY! It's a collection of stories that are meant to guide people morally, not literally!

The fact that people like this can actually get elected to public office absolutely infuriates me. If you can't tell the difference between hard science and fairy tales, you have absolutely NO business planning other people's lives.

My sister and her husband live in Kansas. I hope that for their sakes, they get out of that state before they have kids, because the stupidity flowing out of that state is mind-numbing.

Election Reforms from the Poobah

Here is how I would fix the electoral system in this country.

1. NO ONE could make campaign contributions to anyone.

2. NO candidates could run TV, radio, or newspaper ads.

3. Campaigning would be reduced to public appearances and the actual news coverage that accompanied them.

4. Every candidate would be given the same amount of money to use for travel, etc. for their campaigns.

5. Independent auditors would keep track of all this.

Take the money out of the electoral process and you clean it up almost instantly.

Well, It Worked When Clinton Was In Office

Apparently, a protest sign at a march in D. C. read "Won't someone give him a blowjob so we can impeach him?"

Product Endorsement

I don't endorse products too often (other than for kilts and Guinness Stout) but here's one that I absolutely LOVE right about now: Band-Aid Advanced Healing for Blisters.

I was given a new pair of shoes over the weekend (a late birthday present from my folks) and they rubbed a blister on the back of my ankle, right along what I THINK is my Achilles tendon. Painful shtuff. I put one of these bad boys on it and the pain is gone.

I'll report back on how well it actually heals the blister.

Duncan and Dad

Just wanted to share a picture of the two of us... I'd have Jenn in here too but she doesn't like having her picture taken. Duncan's sitting in his new chair that lights up and plays music. He absolutely LOVES it. :)



What the heck, call me the proud papa.

I'm a Blog Curse

I've noticed a trend. Almost without fail, the moment I start reading someone's blog on a regular basis the author decides it's time for a hiatus... or even worse, just stops posting altogether, with no thought for all of us waiting to read it.

Is it me?

Pryce Caught Up in Tom Delay Scandal

One of my local nemeses, U.S. Representative Deborah Pryce, is one of the many Republican officials who have taken campaign contributions from the scandalous and unethical Tom DeLay. I've followed her career fairly closely since moving here and she's in lock-step with him on 94% of the issues.

I'm looking forward to the day when Deborah Pryce's sins come out and she's toppled from her perch with DeLay and the other traitors to America.

Birthday Reflections

I'm 37 years old today. I feel about 25 or 26. And here's my "State of the Age" for my 38th year.

• Family: First and foremost, I am extraordinarily fortunate to have the family I do. My wife Jennifer is the most accepting person I know. She puts up with my strange little foibles (kilt-wearing, Batman-worship, tangent-hopping, and whatever my newest obsession is) and even shares in my love of many things (soccer, hockey, reading, etc.). And even more importantly than her acceptance of my foibles is the fact that she gets exactly where I'm coming from. I don't have to explain my points of view on things endlessly to her because she GETS me. That's a rare thing, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I found her.

  My son Duncan is the most special little boy I could ever hope to have. He brings a smile to my face, a spring to my step, and has helped me find so much purpose and reason for being my best that I can't even describe it. My current fitness regimen, my attempts to be more worldly, so much of what I do is to set the best example I know how for that kid. And he in himself is special - great natured, smart, determined... he just gives Jenn and I so much to work for. It's hard to describe, but I hope this suffices.
  

  My parents and siblings are the greatest group of folks I could have. My dad showed me the value of hard work, but also instilled in me a sense of great fun and the abiility to be an adult without losing the kid inside. My mom gave me passion for what I love and an ability to see the good in everything around me. My siblings, Tom, Rob, and Carrie, are as diverse a bunch as you could hope to get, yet somehow we always find common ground when we're together and have a fantastic time. Tom is a master at sharing his passions with those around him and making you care about things that you might not have paid attention to without him, while Rob is a rascal of the first magnitude but always finds time for what's truly important. My sister, Carrie, is (I think) more like me than I'm sure she cares to admit, but despite that I admire her stick-to-itiveness and her sense of what's right and wrong (as much as it may diverge from my own at times).
  

  Yeah, my family rules.
  
  

• Health: I may be in the best overall healthy shape of my life right now. Thanks to the physical regimen I discovered through Matt Furey and his Combat Conditioning routine I feel like the aforementioned 25 year-old I said I was. Ignore this as you want as sounding totally commercial, but this has changed my life health-wise in ways that is hard to describe. Naturally, there's always room for improvement, such as a better diet, etc., but I am on the right track in a big way.
  
  
• Work: I originally took my job at Ohio State University (despite my dislike for their athletic program) as a simple way to get out of the tenuous consulting world, and I am glad I did. This job allows me to take care of myself and my loved ones better than I could have hoped for. I have a boss who supports my work and helps me improve and I make decent enough money that I am comfortable and can support my family. You can't ask for much more than that.

All in all, my 37 years on this planet haven't always been easy, but they've all made a big part in putting me where I am today. And honestly? I wouldn't change a thing!

Well, I might have thought twice before that self-administered haircut back in fourth grade...

Just Because He Has That Problem....

On a message board I frequent, one of the members was telling us about his recent serving with divorce papers from his wife. Unfortunately, a common enough occurrence, but this one struck a chord with me.

Apparently, he's recently started a new job as a teacher and is therefore quite busy putting together PowerPoint presentations, tests, worksheets, etc. and is therefore on the computer a lot. His wife is VERY upset at this as she thinks he's up to no good on the computer, instead of doing work. He goes on to say that a friend of his wife's recently told her about her husband's addiction to internet porn, and so the wife has transferred that fear to the husband.

This reminds me of a situation I was in with a relationship I was in long before I met Jennifer. Her sister divorced her husband because he was an alcoholic and wouldn't admit it or seek help. Fair enough - can't say I blame her at all.

However, any time I drank a beer or whatever, that fear was applied to me. It got very annoying - I do enjoy a good beer now and again, to the point that I belong to a Beer of the Month Club. But I'm not an alcoholic. I go for days or weeks at a time without a drink and don't think about it at all. Sometimes I just want a beer. No big deal.

So despite my exhortations that I was not an alcoholic, she simply couldn't get it out of her weak mind that I was headed down the same path. Now, that's not necessarily the reason that we finally broke it off, it was just one of many (should have done it much sooner, in retrospect).

I'm writing this here because I get a bit irrational about people who project their fears like this and that's not going to help out my message board friend at all.

Anyway, this makes me even more thankful that I met Jennifer - who doesn't project her friends' fears onto my habits/activities. She's a confident woman who knows who I am, knows that I love her, and would never do anything that would piss her off (well, maybe in fun...). Thanks, honey! I love you!

Growing Up: Duncan And Me

Duncan has been sick the past couple days - some sort of virus that is "going around." There's always something "going around," it seems. I often think that the only reason we take Duncan to the doctor is to verify that, yes, indeed, something IS "going around."

He's got the parainfluenza virus, we're told. The fact that they know what it is is comforting. At least that means that they know how to treat it, for the most part.

But Duncan is handling it like the little trooper he is. He's still not crying, just being a little more fussy and tired than usual. He's been running a fever, but the Children's Tylenol seems to be keeping that down. And he even got down and played with me a bit yesterday before turning back to the bottle and passing out for a while longer. Today (Jenn's home with him today, I had him yesterday) he's pretty much the same but a little stronger. Gotta love the little guy. Oh, he's also still weakly applauding his own recovery. :)

We've pretty much made the decision, though, that due to his being sick that we're not going to travel up to Michigan to let him stay with my folks while we go to the Notre Dame/BYU game in South Bend. They'd offered us their tickets and we'd accepted, but now that seems like less a good idea.

And here's where the growing up part comes into play: I really don't care. Having a little boy that I'm responsible for has grown me up to the point where I understand what's really important. Don't get me wrong - if the chance to go see ND play comes up again, I'm going to jump on it. But if something's wrong with Jenn or Duncan, that all goes out the window while I stay home with them. It happened for the Dublin Irish Festival this year and now it's happening with our wee bairn.

And I'm really fine with that! Guess I'm growing up...

Oh, the horror... the horror...

This Pretty Much Sums It up

Possibly the greatest ever demonstration of how religious nutcases think:

We've Created A Monster

So to speak, anyway. We taught Duncan how to applaud, and now he applauds himself all the time. :)

Other new developments include sitting up pretty much at will, pulling himself to his feet (which he did Sunday night at our Uncle Jim's apartment), and frequent use of the word "Uh-oh." Which he also does all the time. :)

The boy is talented - must take after his mother.

All About General Tso

For some reason, this was really bugging me today after the comments left by Dale in the joke posting below. So I looked it up.

Um... General Tso sounds like something of a nasty guy. Good thing his chicken is so spicy-good.

Joke of the Day

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

A Blog That's Better Than Mine

Only one of the many, I'm sure, but this one is by New York photographer Clayton James Cubitt, who is a native of New Orleans, and is a record of his experiences in trying to help his mother get back on her feet after the disaster of Hurricane Katrina, as well as the disaster of the post-Hurricane Bush administration quagmire that is supposed to be helping these folks.

If you want to see what it's like to be on the ground and through the eyes of a victim of this tragedy. Cubitt's commentary is searing and raw, his photographs are vivid and real, and the overall tone of the site reflects the anguish and helplessness he feels as he tries to do what he can for the people and the city he loves.

OSU Band Takes Abuse For Home Fans' Behavior

The Ohio State University Marching Band was apparently the target of abuse by Penn State fans at their recent loss in Happy Valley. The members of the band were showered with verbal abuse, hitting, thrown objects (including urine-filled bottles, apparently), and other such stuff.

Two points to make here:

1. Attacking the opposing team's band is a cowardly act, and no amount of drinking, etc. should excuse hooligans in the stadium from any wrongdoing. These Penn State fans need to be rounded up and expelled from Beaver Stadium, PERMANENTLY.




2. What the hell do OSU fans expect? After the fiasco that was the treatment of Texas fans before, during, and after the game here in Columbus, it's no wonder that OSU fans and their band are treated poorly. These are fans who burn blue furniture when they lose to Michigan. They riot after wins AND losses. They're a bunch of unruly drunks who claim to be football fans. In reality, they're no better than European soccer hooligans, who use any excuse to act the way they do.

In my opinion, the NCAA needs to do what the British government does: create a list of fans who are not allowed to attend games (the Brits actually don't even let these guys out of the country but obviously we can't go that far). If that means checking IDs at the stadium gates, well, the technology certainly does exist for that.

Start with the Buckeye fans, though. They've shown themselves to be the most unruly fans in the country and need to be controlled, now.

And the fans who mistreated the Texas fans and any other visiting fans? They should be ashamed of themselves for the BAND taking the abuse that they deserve.

Bush's Hypocrisy Knows No Bounds

A quote from Bush's speech today:

"Evil men obsessed with ambition and unburdened by conscience must be taken very seriously, and we must stop them before their crimes can multiply."

Sounds like a rally cry for the Democratic Party for the next election to me.

Miers Nomination Is Suspect - As Usual

Read this article about Harriet Miers and her nomination to the Supreme Court. Anyone who is THAT much on the side of our evil President needs to be watched very carefully and grilled like a hamburger at a tailgate party during the approval process.

Worse Than Muzak?

At lunch today, I was eating my General Tso's chicken and reading a magazine. And suddenly, my ears perked up as I heard a piano version of Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven." And then I remembered that the particular eating establishment I was in only had a player piano for music.

That's right, someone wrote the song "Stairway to Heaven" for a player piano. Now I'm just waiting to hear the Mannheim Steamroller cover of Ronnie James Dio's "Holy Diver."

What Does This Mean?

I was just on the elevator with a couple of people who were talking about selling a car. One of them said that the car had "enough mileage on it to kill the Pope."

WHAT?

Bush Doesn't Get It

Usually when I cite a link to an article on the web, I have something to say about it. For this one... there's nothing to say other than... "You got it right." Read and mourn for our country, and our world.

I'd Probably Have More Fun At Work If I Did Stuff Like This

Users...

And no, I don't mean the types of users who are using drugs, etc. I'm talking about information technology and those types of users. The ones who are sitting hammering away at their keyboards and working on applications that we, as IT professionals, have worked so hard to provide for them.

The worst type of user is, ironically, the kind that I have in abundance - and that's the user who simply doesn't get it. Call them technophobes, Luddites, clueless, etc. It all fits.

Case in point: A while back, it was asked of me that I archive one of our main tables in the database I work on. So I did. Now, at the time, that table contained a number of monetary totals in it and was very useful. Soon after that, the totals were moved OUT of that table and into another table so that there could be year-by-year totals put into it and one record from table 1 could have multiple records in table 2.

My concern here was that the new table would not be usable with the archived table because past totals might be changed. I was assured by users who (I feel) simply didn't want to deal with my problem that such a change would never happen.

Now, I'm getting flak because reports run against the archived table no longer have the same totals as they did for previous runs... BECAUSE the date-related totals table was in fact changed.

And this is just one example. I could go on for hours. But suffice to say that I am quickly getting fed up with users who won't give me the attention I need to create THEIR application, but then get upset with me when their application doesn't work as they want. Sigh...

Wonder how much ditch-diggers make...

Kerry Grows a Pair - Too Late, But They've Grown

Senator John Kerry finally did what he should have done during the election - called the corrupt Bush Administration to task for all their failures since January 17, 2001. The former presidental candidate announced in a speech at Brown University that the Bush Administration and Congressional Republicans had seen their failures, that had so far been masked by the rhetoric of "marching toward freedom" and "the Contract with America," blown wide open by the disaster that is and was the post-hurricane Katrina situation.

Though I voted for him in the last election, I am NOT a John Kerry fan. I think there were far better candidates for President during the last election, and I think he made grave errors during the campaign. Be that what it may, he has used his pulpit to hammer the Bush administration for their total failure. I'm going to include this speech below instead of linking to it, because I think it's just that eloquent.

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Remarks by John Kerry, as prepared for September 19, 2005 Speech at Brown University
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I want to thank you for what the Brown community has done to help and comfort the many victims of Hurricane Katrina. This horrifying disaster has shown Americans at their best -- and their government at its worst.

And that's what I've come to talk with you about today. The incompetence of Katrina's response is not reserved to a hurricane. There's an enormous gap between Americans' daily expectations and government's daily performance. And the gap is growing between the enduring strength of the American people -- their values, their spirit, their imagination, their ingenuity, and their willingness to serve and sacrifice -- and the shocking weakness of the American government in contending with our country's urgent challenges.

On the Gulf Coast during the last two weeks, the depth and breadth of that gap has been exposed for all to see and we have to address it now before it is obscured again by hurricane force spin and deception.

Katrina stripped away any image of competence and exposed to all the true heart and nature of this administration. The truth is that for four and a half years, real life choices have been replaced by ideological agenda, substance replaced by spin, governance second place always to politics. Yes, they can run a good campaign -- I can attest to that -- but America needs more than a campaign. If 12 year-old Boy Scouts can be prepared, Americans have a right to expect the same from their 59 year-old President of the United States.

Katrina reminds us that too often the political contests of our time have been described like football games with color commentary: one team of consultants against another, red states against blue states, Democratic money against Republican money; a contest of height versus hair - sometimes. But the truth is democracy is not a game; we are living precious time each day in a different America than the one we can inhabit if we make different choices.

Today, more than ever, when the path taken last year and four years earlier takes us into a wilderness of missed opportunities -- we need to keep defining the critical choices over and over, offering a direction not taken but still open in the future.

I know the President went on national television last week and accepted responsibility for Washington's poor response to Katrina. That's admirable. And it's a first. As they say, the first step towards recovery is to get out of denial. But don't hold your breath hoping acceptance of responsibility will become a habit for this administration. On the other hand, if they are up to another "accountability moment" they ought to start by admitting one or two of the countless mistakes in conceiving, "selling", planning and executing their war of choice in Iraq.

I obviously don't expect that to happen. And indeed, there's every reason to believe the President finally acted on Katrina and admitted a mistake only because he was held accountable by the press, cornered by events, and compelled by the outrage of the American people, who with their own eyes could see a failure of leadership and its consequences.

Natural and human calamity stripped away the spin machine, creating a rare accountability moment, not just for the Bush administration, but for all of us to take stock of the direction of our country and do what we can to reverse it. That's our job -- to turn this moment from a frenzied expression of guilt into a national reversal of direction. Some try to minimize the moment by labeling it a "blame game" -- but as I've said - this is no game and what is at stake is much larger than the incompetent and negligent response to Katrina.

This is about the broader pattern of incompetence and negligence that Katrina exposed, and beyond that, a truly systemic effort to distort and disable the people's government, and devote it to the interests of the privileged and the powerful. It is about the betrayal of trust and abuse of power. And in all the often horrible and sometimes ennobling sights and sounds we've all witnessed over the last two weeks, there's another sound just under the surface: the steady clucking of Administration chickens coming home to roost.

We wouldn't be hearing that sound if the people in Washington running our government had cared to listen in the past.

They didn't listen to the Army Corps of Engineers when they insisted the levees be reinforced.

They didn't listen to the countless experts who warned this exact disaster scenario would happen.

They didn't listen to years of urgent pleading by Louisianans about the consequences of wetlands erosion in the region, which exposed New Orleans and surrounding parishes to ever-greater wind damage and flooding in a hurricane.

They didn't listen when a disaster simulation just last year showed that hundreds of thousands of people would be trapped and have no way to evacuate New Orleans.

They didn't listen to those of us who have long argued that our insane dependence on oil as our principle energy source, and our refusal to invest in more efficient engines, left us one big supply disruption away from skyrocketing gas prices that would ravage family pocketbooks, stall our economy, bankrupt airlines, and leave us even more dependent on foreign countries with deep pockets of petroleum.

They didn't listen when Katrina approached the Gulf and every newspaper in America warned this could be "The Big One" that Louisianans had long dreaded.

They didn't even abandon their vacations.

And the rush now to camouflage their misjudgments and inaction with money doesn't mean they are suddenly listening. It's still politics as usual. The plan they're designing for the Gulf Coast turns the region into a vast laboratory for right wing ideological experiments. They're already talking about private school vouchers, abandonment of environmental regulations, abolition of wage standards, subsidies for big industries - and believe it or not yet another big round of tax cuts for the wealthiest among us!

The administration is recycling all their failed policies and shipping them to Louisiana. After four years of ideological excess, these Washington Republicans have a bad hangover -- and they can't think of anything to offer the Gulf Coast but the hair of the dog that bit them.

And amazingly -- or perhaps not given who we're dealing with -- this massive reconstruction project will be overseen not by a team of experienced city planners or developers, but according to the New York Times, by the Chief of Politics in the White House and Republican Party, none other than Karl Rove -- barring of course that he is indicted for "outing" an undercover CIA intelligence officer.

Katrina is a symbol of all this administration does and doesn't do. Michael Brown -- or Brownie as the President so famously thanked him for doing a heck of a job - Brownie is to Katrina what Paul Bremer is to peace in Iraq; what George Tenet is to slam dunk intelligence; what Paul Wolfowitz is to parades paved with flowers in Baghdad; what Dick Cheney is to visionary energy policy; what Donald Rumsfeld is to basic war planning; what Tom Delay is to ethics; and what George Bush is to "Mission Accomplished," and "Wanted Dead or Alive." The bottom line is simple: The "we'll do whatever it takes" administration doesn't have what it takes to get the job done.

This is the Katrina administration.

It has consistently squandered time, tax dollars, political capital, and even risked American lives on sideshow adventures: A war of choice in Iraq against someone who had nothing to do with 9/11; a full scale presidential assault on Social Security when everyone knows the real crisis is in health care - Medicare and Medicaid. And that's before you get to willful denial on global warming; avoidance on competitiveness; complicity in the loss and refusal of health care to millions.

Americans can and will help compensate for government's incompetence with millions of acts of individual enterprise and charity, as Katrina has shown. But that's not enough. We must ask tough questions: Will this generosity and compassion last in the absence of strong leadership? Will this Administration only ask for sacrifice in a time of crisis? Has dishonesty in politics degraded our national character to the point that we feel our dues have been paid as citizens with a one-time donation to the Red Cross?

Today, let's you and I acknowledge what's really going on in this country. The truth is that this week, as a result of Katrina, many children languishing in shelters are getting vaccinations for the first time. Thousands of adults are seeing a doctor after going without a check-up for years. Illnesses lingering long before Katrina will be treated by a healthcare system that just weeks ago was indifferent, and will soon be indifferent again.

For the rest of the year this nation silently tolerates the injustice of 11 million children and over 30 million adults in desperate need of healthcare. We tolerate a chasm of race and class some would rather pretend does not exist. And ironically, right in the middle of this crisis the Administration quietly admitted that since they took office, six million of our fellow citizens have fallen into poverty. That's over ten times the evacuated population of New Orleans. Their plight is no less tragic - no less worthy of our compassion and attention. We must demand something simple and humane: healthcare for all those in need - in all years at all times.

This is the real test of Katrina. Will we be satisfied to only do the immediate: care for the victims and rebuild the city? Or will we be inspired to tackle the incompetence that left us so unprepared, and the societal injustice that left so many of the least fortunate waiting and praying on those rooftops?

That's the unmet challenge we have to face together.

Katrina is the background of a new picture we must paint of America. For five years our nation's leaders have painted a picture of America where ignoring the poor has no consequences; no nations are catching up to us; and no pensions are destroyed. Every criticism is rendered unpatriotic. And if you say "War on Terror" enough times, Katrina never happens.

Well, Katrina did happen, and it washed away that coat of paint and revealed the true canvas of America with all its imperfections. Now, we must stop this Administration from again whitewashing the true state of our challenges. We have to paint our own picture - an honest picture with all the optimism we deserve - one that gives people a vision where no one is excluded or ignored. Where leaders are honest about the challenges we face as a nation, and never reserve compassion only for disasters.

Rarely has there been a moment more urgent for Americans to step up and define ourselves again. On the line is a fundamental choice. A choice between a view that says you're on your own,go it alone. every man for himself.Or a different view - a different philosophy - a different conviction of governance - a belief that says our great American challenge is one of shared endeavor and shared sacrifice.

Over the next weeks I will address some of these choices in detail - choices about national security, the war in Iraq, making our nation more competitive and committing to energy independence. But it boils down to this. I still believe America's destiny is to become a living testament to what free human beings can accomplish by acting in unity. That's easy to dismiss by those who seem to have forgotten we can do more together than just waging war.

But for those who still believe in the great tradition of Americans doing great things together, it's time we started acting like it. We can never compete with the go-it- alone crowd in appeals to selfishness. We can't afford to be pale imitations of the other side in playing the Ëœwhat's in it for me" game. Instead, it's time we put our appeals where our hearts are - asking the American people to make our country as strong, prosperous, and big-hearted as we know we can be - every day. It's time we framed every question - every issue -- not in terms of what's in it for "me," but what's in it for all of us?

And when you ask that simple question - what's in it for all of us? - the direction not taken in America could not be more clear or compelling.

Instead of allowing a few oil companies to drill their way to windfall profits, it means an America that understands we can't drill our way to energy independence, we have to invent our way there together.

Instead of making a mockery of the words No Child Left Behind when China and India are graduating tens of thousands more engineers and PhDs than we are, it means an America where college education is affordable and accessible for every child willing to work for it.

Instead of tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans, it means an America that makes smart investments in your future like funding the science and research and development that will assure American technological leadership.

Instead of allowing lobbyists to rewrite our environmental laws, it means an America where lakes and rivers and streams are clean enough that when a family takes the kids fishing, it's actually safe to eat the fish they catch.

Instead of letting a few ideologues get in the way of progress that can make us a stronger and healthier society, it means an America where the biology students here today will do the groundbreaking stem cell research tomorrow.

And instead of stubbornly disregarding intelligence, using force prematurely and shoving our allies aside, it means an America that restores its leadership in the world. An America that meets its responsibility of creating a world where the plagues of our time and future times - from terror to disease to poverty to weapons of mass destruction to the unknown - are overcome by allies united in common cause, and proud to follow American leadership.

That is the direction not taken but still open to us in the future if we answer that simple question - "what's in it for all of us?" It comes down to the fact that the job of government is to prepare for your future - not ignore it. It should prepare to solve problems - not create them.

This Administration and the Republicans who control Congress give in to special interests and rob future generations.

Real leadership stands up to special interests and sets the course for future generations. And the fact is we do face serious challenges as a nation, and if we don't address them now, we handicap your future. My generation risks failing its obligation of assuring you inherit a safer, stronger America. To turn this around, the greatest challenges must be the starting point. I hope Katrina gives us the courage to face them and the sense of urgency to beat them.

That's why the next few months are such a critical time. You'll read about the Katrina investigations and fact-finding missions. You'll get constant updates on the progress rebuilding New Orleans and new funding for FEMA. Washington becomes a very efficient town once voters start paying attention.

But we can't let political maneuvering around the current crisis distract people from the gathering, hidden crises - like energy, environment, poverty, healthcare and innovation - that present the greatest threats to our nation's competitiveness and character. The effort to rebuild New Orleans cannot obscure the need to also rebuild our country.

So realistically, I'm sure you're wondering: How do I change all this? What can I do? The answer is simple: YOU have to make your issues the voting issues of this nation. You're not the first generation to face this challenge.

I remember when you couldn't even mention environmental issues without a snicker. But then in the 70s people got tired of seeing the Cuyahoga River catch on fire from all the chemicals. So one day millions of Americans marched. Politicians had no choice but to take notice. Twelve Congressmen were dubbed the Dirty Dozen, and soon after seven were kicked out of office. The floodgates were opened. We got the Clean Air Act, The Clean Water Act and Safe Drinking Water. We created the EPA. The quality of life improved because concerned citizens made their issues matter in elections.

You are citizens in the greatest democracy in the world. Moments like Katrina are so difficult - so painful - but they help you define your service to your fellow citizens. I'll never forget as a teenager standing in a field in October of 1957 watching the first man made spacecraft streak across the night sky. The conquest, of course, was Soviet - and while not everyone got to see the unmanned craft pass overhead at 18,000 miles per hour that night - before long every American knew the name Sputnik. We knew we had been caught unprepared.

In the uncertain years thereafter, President Kennedy challenged Americans to act on that instinct. He said, "This is a great country, but I think it could be a greater country...the question we have to decide as Americans," he said, is "are we doing enough today?"

Today, every American knows the name Katrina -- and once again we know our government was undeniably unprepared, even as Americans have shown their willingness to sacrifice to make up for it.

But in these uncertain weeks of Katrina's aftermath, we must ask ourselves not just whether a great country can be made greater -- the sacrifice and generosity of Americans these last weeks answered that question with a resounding yes.

No, our challenge is greater - it's to speak out so loudly that Washington has no choice but to make choices worthy of this great country - choices worthy of the sacrifice of our neighbors in the Gulf Coast and our troops all around the world.

What's in it for all of us? Nothing less than the character of our country - and your future.

Bush and Company: "Climate Loonies," says British Scientist

Nice to see someone finally say it: Bush and his cronies (or should I say Bush and his keepers?) are "climate loonies" and the horrible hurricane season we're experiencing in the Gulf Coast region are directly related to global warming.

Sir John Lawton, chairman of the Royal Commission on Environmental Pollution for the British government, has released his opinions on the lack of intelligence that surrounds this administration as regards global warming and its treatment of the situation.

Sir John, THANK YOU! Now let's make sure this gets plastered all over the country.

There Has to Be a Way to Harness This!

Crazy story from Australia... but the first thing that jumped into my mind was "free energy!" Someone needs to get on this project right away... who knew that nylon and wool could save the world!

Bush's EPA Hiding Results Of New Orleans Toxicity Testing

Looks like the oil industry's hold over the Bush Administration is as tight as ever, even in the wake of one of the most horrifying disasters in American history.

The above article tells of various groups' discoveries that petrochemical waste is not being tested for by the EPA, which of course falls under the Bush Administration's jurisdiction of government. And why might this be?

Almost every decision this administration has made has been to the benefit of the oil industry or its subsidiaries, despite the health risks to the people of the world. It just shows how Bush is deeply in the pockets of the oil industry and that industry is running this country now.

Folks, it's long past time to stop giving these folks our money! Stop driving as much as possible. Find vehicles that save gas or don't use it at all. Take public transportation. Lobby your congressmen to improve mileage standards for automobiles across the board so states don't have to do it. There's all sorts of stuff that can be done. The fact remains that oil is 1) bad for people, 2) bad for the climate of our world, and 3) is simply creating a reliance that can't last forever. The sooner we're ready to move away from oil, the better.

Bush Administration Lies About Environmental Causes of Katrina Flooding

More preposterous claims from the Bush disinformation machine about the causes of flooding in New Orleans surfaced recently, as the lying scum in charge of our government try to pin the blame on environmentalists.

Stories about environmentalist groups blocking the plans for levee building along Lake Ponchartrain and the Mississippi River are filtering out of the administration. But as you can see by reading the article, they're counting on the apathy of the common citizen to such matters to hide the fact that they're using this tragedy to try to slam those who would improve our world at what they feel is the cost of the success of big business.

Interestingly, I read an article in Outside Magazine today that was an excerpt from Yves Chouinard's new book on the business history of his company, Patagonia. He states quite clearly that each time they took the time to make one of their business practices more environmentally responsible and sustainable, they had even more success. In fact, the average increase in profits after changing product lines to use better materials and such was twenty percent. So the myth of environmentally sound business practices costing jobs and profits is shown over and OVER to be a myth.

Hey, businesses: Stop watching Fox News and pay attention to what's really going on.

Top 10 Reasons that OSU is not a Major College Football Tradition

• Gives players academic credit for playing football.


• Logo includes a marijuana leaf.


• Has the word "The" in official university name, yet doesn't use it in abbreviation.


• Most notable quarterback in history is frequently indicted for gambling problems.


• Most famous coach is most famous for hitting an opposing player.


• Stadium called "Horseshoe" but is not in fact horseshoe-shaped.


• Tried to sue Oklahoma State University for using "OSU" as abbreviation, and lost. See #3.


• Mascot is a turd with a body.


• Just because you call your band "The Best Damn Band In The Land" doesn't mean it is.


• Highlight of Pregame ceremony: Fat tuba player waddling onto field and trying not to fall over while bowing.

More Reasons To Hate Buckeye Fans

I've sounded off before on my dislike of most OSU fans in Columbus, but now there are fans from other schools who are echoing the same thing. Check out the above article from the Austin newspaper.

Buckeye fans need to clean up their acts. I already know many Notre Dame fans who will never come back here because Buckeye fans don't know how to behave, now it seems that Texas fans had the same experience.

Statistics About Bush Foreign Policy

This is an interesting look at the statistics of the foreign policy of our current administration as relates to Iraq, North Korea, Darfur, and the so-called war on terrorism.

This statistic says it all:

• Days since September 11, 2001 that Osama bin Laden has remained uncaptured: 1,454


• Days after bombing Pearl Harbor that Japan surrendered to U.S. forces: 1,365

That's right - we defeated a whole country (one that actually attacked us, that is) in less time than it took to find Osama Bin Laden. Of course, since we're no longer really looking, maybe this number isn't truly fair.

Top Reason Not To Listen To Liberal Talk Radio

And, as far as I'm concerned, the ONLY reason thus far...

Their movie reviews are ANNOYING CRAP. I dislike most movie reviewers as they seem to think that simple entertainment value isn't enough, but that a movie has to be artistic or benefit society in some way. Why can't a movie just be fun?

However, the Air America movie reviewer I heard the other day (and I don't know her name, unfortunately) struck me as one of these intellectuals who is probably smarter than most folks around her, she knows it, and yet she stays in the position she's in because she's afraid to challenge herself by trying something harder. Or, even worse, she'd rather be the big fish in a small pond than a fairly-good-sized fish in the ocean.

Anyway... avoid movie reviews at all costs - particularly those on liberal Talk Radio.

And of course, Rush Limbaugh is still a big fat idiot.

No Turd Left Behind

Here's a good solid application of science that probably escaped a lot of people. Anyone who can get to work on the problem of re-usability should probably contact the folks at Mount Shasta in California.

Here Come The Irish!

Well, the turnaround of Notre Dame Football under head coach Charlie Weis is in full effect, yo. Notre Dame spanked Michigan in the Big House on Saturday. I'll let the article do all the talking about the actual action on the field, suffice to say I'm real happy!

A couple notes - the poor sportsmanship shown by the Michigan fans in showering the field with cups made me remember my hatred of the practice of throwing cups at ND Stadium (not onto the field) during my 1987-1990 (football seasons) tenure there. I think it was during sophomore year (1988) when the practice was started. These were those hard plastic cups that have since become so popular everywhere as quality tableware for college students and bachelors the world over. The student section used to toss them up in the air in celebration, and when one of those damn things hit you in the head it hurt like hell.

So, in their overwhelming intelligence (which was possibly lessened by the number of cups hitting them in the heads), student government started a movement to not throw cups, but instead to bring marshmallows to the game and throw those instead. Well, naturally, the next game after that change, it rained. The entire student section was reduced to a white sticky mess that felt like the floor of a taxicab and probably looked like something out of a Peter North movie (ask around if you've never heard of him. Again, look for bachelors and college students on this one). Funny story, anyhoo.

Oh, this struck me as funny, too.


Haven't heard/read any post-game whining by the U of M fans about the game yet - but I'm expecting it given the two replays that went ND's way (Ndukwe's fantastic heads-up fumble recovery and the ensuing "not-fumble" that kept the ball in ND's hands). Top notch tackling throughout the game - something that we missed during the Willingham era. Altogether, I'm really looking forward to the MSU game at the house that Rockne built. Hopefully I'll be attending the ND/BYU game on Oct. 22, too. :)

Jamie: The Prophet

Anyway, I'm beginning to think that I'm subtly prophetic. I've been taking the bus regularly for about a year now... and of course, other folks are jumping on the bandwagon now that gas prices are through the roof. And I've barely noticed the increases.

Talked to the bus driver of one of my routes today, he said that his ridership has increased with the gas prices going up. Maybe the rising prices are just what COTA needs to get a serious jump! We can only hope... public transportation is so much better than the mess that's out there today.

Irish Defense Earns Win For ND

Okay, sure, Brady Quinn is the pre-season favorite for the Heisman. For whatever that's worth. I'd rather he not win the Heisman and ND win the Mythical National Championship than the other way around. Let the stats-hounds from the Bugeyes and such run up their numbers against crap opponents like Northern Illinois, while Notre Dame grinds out a win against a real opponent (one that IS going to be a force this season) in Georgia Tech.

And that's exactly what happened on Saturday night (after the Crew slaughtered the New England Revolution 3-0, of course). The Irish defense stepped up and delivered notice that they weren't the same defense that was on the field last season. No, they were the game winners tonight, and at this point in the season I'd much rather see that than an offensive show. The defense was the real question last season, obviously, and it bit them in the ass against Cheaty McSweatervest's boys.

Quinn and the Irish offense will come around, soon. I have faith in that. Weis isn't going to let them penalize themselves out of games like they did tonight for too long. And to see the defense hold a quality opponent to 10 points? Yeah, I'll take that. Spreads are for gambling. The only number that matters is the final score.

French Quarter Surviving?

I've been monitoring the Hurricane Katrina news as much as possible here at work today, and one thing has struck me more than any other thing: The newer parts of the city, downtown, etc., have buildings collapsing. But the pictures I've seen of the French Quarter look wet, but not damaged much at all.

Now, my knowledge of New Orleans geography is not good. I have no clue what part of the city the Quarter is in, how close to the levees or the coast it is, or any of that sort of thing. But it just strikes me that whoever built those buildings, way back when, surely knew what they were doing.

New Orleans

The news on New Orleans and the hurricane they're going through RIGHT NOW is hitting me kind of hard, for several reasons. And they're sort of selfish reasons, for whatever it's worth. Don't get me wrong... I'm completely sympathetic to the poor people who live there and the fact that many of them are going to lose their homes, and frightened for the people who couldn't get out of the city. And the historian in me is aghast at all the amazing history of the region that could be lost.

But the selfish part of me is thinking "I never got to visit there." I have wanted to visit New Orleans for a VERY long time - as silly as it sounds, ever since the computer game Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father came out, I have wanted to check out what seems to be the most amazing city in the United States. And having met some online friends who live there has made it even worse. I hope that Jack, Laura, Tom, Gabe, Ralph, Riley, Dallas, and Rich are all okay. I hope that I'll get to meet them soon and I especially hope that their losses are minimal.

And the history part of me is horrified that the city where my Fellrath ancestors entered the United States is under such heavy attack from the forces of nature. I had hoped to go there and see where my forebearers entered this country from Germany.

I hope I'm not being too fatalistic - New Orleans has been through horrible storms before and has always come out on top. And maybe I'm letting the panic-driven newscasters on TV get to me with their talk about how "this is the big storm that New Orleans has always feared." But for a city I've never been to except in books, movies, and a video game, I feel a sense of kinship with those folks down there. I'd hate to see a wonderful amazing city like New Orleans be damaged too heavily. I don't want anything to change before I'm able to visit.

Compliments Can Go A Long Way

I was walking down Crestview this morning on the way to the bus stop and stopped to talk to one of my neighbors. He asked me if I take the bus, since he sees me walking down there most mornings, and I said yes. And then he complimented me for it, out of no where. We had a brief discussion about how cars have ruined America, and then I went on my way.

But it was very nice to have someone simply compliment you for no reason. Makes your day. Helps if the day is as gorgeous as today is, naturally, but it's got me in a pretty good mood. And that's especially nice on a day when I was feeling a little negative when I got up.

Is "Hoops" Catching?

Got a press release about the recent Crew 1:0 Dallas win today, and in it, Crew PR Director Jeff Wuerth referred to Dallas as the "Hoops."

THEY'RE NOT HOOPS! They're stripes - they don't even go all the way around the jersey!

And there's only ONE HOOPS: CELTIC.

Christ, it's bad enough they changed their names to FC Dallas... now they've got easily-led PR directors calling them "The Hoops."

They're the Burn. They're never going to lose that name. Just deal with it, Dallas.

Rap Songs In the Commercials

Been watching this Target commercial recently where they're advertising their backpacks for the upcoming school year with a re-lyricized (is that a word) version of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Go Back," and it's striking me as totally surreal every time. This is even more pronounced than when I saw a car commercial using "How Soon Is Now" by the Smiths as its music.

Anyway, this got me thinking: How many OTHER sexually-motivated rap songs could be used by the various corporations to drag in more customers? Here starts the list!

• Rally's: "Me So Hungry" by Two Live Crew (The obvious first choice)


• Jell-O: "We Want Some Pudding" by Two Live Crew (anyone noticing a trend here?)


• McDonald's: "Milkshake" by Kelis (you'd only have to change a few lyrics here...)

Your input is welcome, naturally. :)

Appalachian Trail

Along with working today (and I actually got a lot done, despite what I'm about to tell you), I read the trail journal of a fellow kilt-wearer who did the Appalachian Trail kilted. All it did was make me want to do it myself even MORE. The trail, that is. Kilted or not, I want to try it... kilted would just be that much better.

I read the first part of Bill Bryson's A Walk In the Woods and that started me thinking about it. I haven't ever sat down and thought about how much it would cost, etc. I should. But I'd want to do it with Jenn and Duncan... how would I do that? I'll have to wait a number of years, probably - until Duncan's a bit older and we can re-finance the old mortgage and put some money away to take care of this plan. Until then we can hike around Ohio and into Michigan, hopefully. Do some real backpacking and such.

Well, if nothing else, it's a dream to hold on to. Maybe a retirement thing to plan for, if I'm ever able to actually retire given the economy and the ability of companies to get away with murder by mistreating their long-term employees.

Time Travel Questionnaire

My friend Dale Price showed this "time travel questionnaire" today on his blog, and being a person who enjoys a little look back at life on occasion, I decided to run with it.

The question: what were you doing 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago, and yesterday?

Ten Years Ago: I was living in Lansing, Michigan, and I worked at Professional/Technical Development there, and my client was the Child Support Enforcement System. I was implementing their computer system all over the State of Michigan. I was extraordinarily happy to be out of my parents' house and working at a place that made pretty good money. I was moving up the ranks at work nicely and felt that computer implementation was a good fit for my skill set.

Five Years Ago: Living in Columbus and working at Information Control Corporation as a consultant, and I BELIEVE my client at the time was American Dairy Brands. Glad to be done with them - the less said about that the better. I had moved from up near Shrock Road to my new apartment near Easton Town Center and was enjoying the location thoroughly. Wasn't dating anyone at the time. I was on a rec soccer team with some good friends and life was pretty good.

One Year Ago: Oh, how things change: my wife Jennifer was pregnant with our first child and I was working at Ohio State University's Comprehensive Cancer Center full time. We'd moved from the apartment near Easton to our rental house in Clintonville, which we enjoyed a lot. Jenn was luckily past her awful morning sickness phase of her pregnancy and we were seriously in "getting ready for the baby" mode.

Yesterday: I was home with my son Duncan, who was running a fever and (as we found out later in the day) has an ear infection. I can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be than home with my family, either. I'm still at OSU, happily married, and life is great in our new house and fantastic life.

Dale - thanks for posting yours! This was a fun look back. It's amazing how to look at the massive changes one's life can take can put you in a different frame of mind.

Being a Fan

I was amongst the witnesses to a great deal of unpleasantness last night, and I'm going to give you my take on it.

Last night, the Dallas Burn beat Columbus 3-1 in overtime in the U.S. Open Cup. Both teams played a good game, it was entertaining, and the Crew seem to be continuing on their fine form of play for the most part. However...

The fans at the game (the COLUMBUS fans) need to learn what sportsmanship is, and what being a fan is. Now I've been a passionate fan of the Crew and many other teams before them, so I feel I'm not speaking out of turn when I talk about passionate fandom. I've actually broken furniture celebrating a Notre Dame national championship. I'm NOT a casual fan of either the Irish or the Crew - I love 'em both to death.

But I also know the difference between being a good sport and being a pathetic whining loser.

To explain: the score was 1-1 when Columbus and Dallas went into overtime to settle their game (as it's tournament play, there had to be a winner in this case). Danny Szetela and Frankie Hejduk were ejected for bad tackles at 101' and 103', respectively. I didn't think Szetela deserved a red for his tackle, though a friend of mine who I respect as a fan said that a former referee he watches the games with thought Szetela did deserve it. I won't go into detail. I will say that Szetela didn't seem to be arguing much as he left the field.

Hejduk most CERTAINLY deserved it. Bad tackle on the same guy that Szetela took down - studs up and all. Very dangerous, and I agree with my friend Keith who said that if he was the Crew coach, he'd bench Frankie for the next game for that stunt.

Anyway, when these things happen, it's just part of the game. You have to take it in stride, even if you don't agree with it. But the "fans" of Columbus decided not to do that - the whining of every single call the referee made for the rest of the match commenced immediately. This continued to the point where Kyle Martino got called for an obvious offside and the folks in front of me started whining about it. I blurted out "Oh, come on. If you don't think that's an offside then you need to go back and read the rulebook." That didn't get a lot of smiles, I'll tell you. It got a "shut up" from the moron who was doing the whining, that's for sure.

And after the game, most of the fans stuck around to berate the referee as he left the field. After he actually called a good game. And the absolutely stupidest thing I heard on the way out was (to paraphrase): "I'm not saying the red cards weren't valid, I'm just saying that sometimes those calls need to go our way."

Um... no. Not if the offense wasn't there. But the Crew fans in general (and generally NOT the folks I watch the games with, but most of the people around us) got so mind-numbingly blinded to the idea that the Crew might actually have been at fault on those calls that they couldn't see anything but that Dallas played a good game, took advantage of the situation that Szetela and Hejduk put us in, and won. To them the fault HAD to be with the refs at that point.

This is where sportsmanship takes over. Yes, it was an unfortunate loss. But if you've got such a hard-on for your team that rational thought leaves you when a game is going on, then you probably need not to go to any more games. You probably have larger issues than just soccer in your life. That's not being a fan, that's being an issue-laden moron who's put way too much importance into a useless form of entertainment like pro sports.

Yep, that's all it is, folks - entertainment.

And I know that today the Matchnight forums are lighting up with anti-ref banter and calling for the heads of the referees for U.S. Soccer, but I'm not adding to it by going over there and talking to those chuckleheads. To me, they're not fans. They're just as bad in their way as the hooligans who fight over soccer in Europe (or, to some extent, here). They just don't use knives and fists for it.

Lance's Friends Are Looking For A Few Good Women

Okay... this is one of the funniest damn things I've seen in a long time. Check out the link above.

I'll wait.

Go ahead.

Done? Did you watch the "Lance's reaction" video? (You can get to it from the FAQ)

I can't believe that his friends actually went to the trouble of doing something like this for this guy... I mean, he seems like a nice enough guy, but a BILLBOARD?

Good lord... well, good luck to Lance. I hope he finds... what his friends are looking for... or something.

Side note: few things are more disturbing than listening to a yuppie white guy try to pull off a Flavor Flav "Yeah Boy!" So don't try.

MLS All-Star Game

A lot of people think that major league all-star games are useless and a waste of time. And you know what? These folks are absolutely right. They don't mean anything in the standings and they're just a showcase for a bunch of showy goals, homers, touchdowns, etc.

But you know what?

WHO CARES!

I love the MLS All-Star game. It's a great opportunity for the communities of soccer fans and players to come together and just have a good time, celebrating what the game of soccer is all about! And that's all it's supposed to be.

Back when I was covering the Columbus Crew for the official team website, I did an article about the MLS All-Star game from the fan perspective. And in talking to fans from all over the country, from all walks of life, I came to the following conclusion: no matter where they were from, or how much they made, or what their cultural heritage/identity was, that soccer was the true universal language.

I met Hispanic-Americans from Colorado, Asian-Americans from California, African-Americans from Columbus, Europeans from Chicago, and the consensus is: THIS GAME ROCKS.

Sure, soccer has its problems around the world. Take the Old Firm rivalry in Glasgow - the religion-based fight going on between the Catholics and Protestants in Scotland is displayed every time Celtic and Rangers play. But to blame soccer for that is ridiculous. It's just the outlet that these two factions have chosen. And to be sure, any time a referee or a player is attacked because of heated emotions following a match, that's a crime. People take it way too seriously. But that's indicative of something else, usually - perhaps people are so downtrodden in their societies that soccer is all they have and they put their hearts and souls into it.

Those are just some theories on my part, I am no sociologist or anthropologist. But the fact remains that billions of people love this sport. And to create an opportunity for the fans of the sport to get to see their favorite stars in action on a day that is all about fun? Forget about it!

Thank you, Major League Soccer, for giving the fans of the greatest game on earth this fantastic chance to show their love of the sport of soccer.

And fans - if you can make it to the game, do so. You won't regret it. You'll have a great time.

Crew Rennaissance?

Game two of the Robert Warzycha era of Columbus Crew history has come and gone. And so far, the interim coach of the Crew is showing that he may just have the right stuff to become the next head man of America's Hardest Working Team.

I can't remember if I've said so here, but I was never a huge fan of the Robert Warzycha style of play. I recognize his excellent free kick ability and the danger he poses on dead-ball situations, but his tendency to go for the long-ball play has too often left me cold. I'm much more of a fan of teams that work the ball through the midfield and show good posession, rather than teams who loft it into the penalty area and hope for the best.

But given our coaching situation over the past ten years, that's what we've seen, more often that not. The Crew has had defensive-minded coaches who relied on individual skill in the forwards to put balls in. When you have forwards like Brian McBride, Stern John, and Jeff Cunningham, who work hard and have good foot and air skills, this sometimes pays dividends. But when your forwards are lazy and look for the easy ball too often, as Edson Buddle has been known to do, then long-ball does not work.

However, in Warzycha, the Crew has gone with a whole new outlook - an offensive/midfield minded coach. And it's already paying dividends. Kyle Martino has looked excellent in the past two games, and the forwards are moving off the ball like we've never seen them in Crewville. Part of the reason for this may be the benching of Buddle, whose lack of hustle has done more to piss off the fans than anything else.

And movement off the ball may be one of the best indications of how coaching changes can bring about change on the field. In the past, we've seen lots of back-passing and floundering around in midfield as the midfielders make ill-advised runs, the forwards flop back and forth across the offside line as they try to make attacks that are unrewarded, and the defenders show confusion as to where they're supposed to pass other than to the guy next to them on the back line. Now, we're seeing Eric Vasquez and Simon Elliot making moves and Martino pushing around the field to make things happen. We're seeing good runs and overlaps and such from Chris Henderson and David Testo on the outside, and most importantly Knox Cameron and Cornell Glen moving around and forward to create openings for passes. It's fun to watch, and almost even more than a win as we saw last night, it's giving Crew fans hope that things have changed.

From the sounds of it, based on a Steve Sirk report from the previous game in Chicago (the Polish Rifle's first as interim head coach), Warzycha has turned up the pressure in practice to ensure that his players react as they are supposed to come gametime. Chris Henderson gave his impressions before Saturday's match:

Henderson has noticed a difference in practices under Warzycha. "When people make mistakes in practice...if you make a bad pass, you are going to hear about it. It's like 'You are a professional player. How could you make a pass like that? You are a better player than that pass.' In a way, it kind of reminds me of playing Germany. When I played there, it wasn't just coaches. If you did something wrong in practice, your own teammates would be screaming at you to get it right. There were a lot of expectations and it was very demanding. The intensity in practice has been very good the past few days. I know American players aren't necessarily used to that approach, but it has been going well and I think the guys are responding."

This is something that Crewville has needed for a long time. It seems that for too long, the former college coaches that we've had (Fitzgerald and Andrulis) haven't pushed hard enough to emphasize proper gamesmanship - they've pushed too hard to play HARD. Warzycha, as a former pro himself, has seen what a professional practice is supposed to be and is pushing the players as professionals - to play smarter. And that's what we've been missing here. Yes, the Crew is America's Hardest Working Team by moniker, but when hard work takes the place of smart work, you're going to fail. But the combination of hard and smart work that we saw on Saturday and particular last night are what is going to drive a team to better results. So far so good.

I'm not going to completely jump on the Bob bandwagon. This was only game #2 out of the 16 that were left at the beginning of Bob's tenure. There's a lot of season left to evaluate our new interim coach and the changes he's making. And with the crowded portion of the season we're entering right now, it's going to be hard for him to really put his stamp on the team. Hopefully during the All-Star break he'll have a chance to put his mark on things more - he reportedly (according to the Dispatch's Craig Merz) has some changes he wants to make but simply doesn't have time given the game schedule.

One change I'd particularly like to see is trying to adjust the game of forward Knox Cameron. Long-time fans of MLS will remember the power and strength of Tampa Bay forward Mamadou Diallo, who led MLS in scoring in 2000 and was nearly unstoppable due to his sheer size and strength. His injuring of a couple of players left him somewhat hated in the league, but few players would deny that he was a powerful force. I think that, with some training, Cameron could become just that sort of a player. He's big and strong, and has good speed. He just needs a little bit of aggressiveness. Cameron had a fairly good game last night, helping to set up the only goal of the match, but he could use his size to more effect and create more chances for the Crew with just a little bit of testosterone.

So far, though, I'm pleased with the Robert Warzycha era. Columbus Crew fans are a surly lot, but there was very little surliness last night as the Crew dominated the game and got the late goal instead of giving it up. It feels REALLY good to be excited about our team again, and I can't wait for Saturday to see how we do against our division rivals from Kansas City.

GO CREW!!

RIP James Doohan

I used to be a big Star Trek fan. No, not the new, touchy feely ones... I'm talking about the old ones, with Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Bones McCoy, Scotty, Chekhov, Sulu, Uhura, etc.

Well, one of the originals is no longer with us. James Doohan, who played Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott, passed away today. He was 85.

It's sad to think of someone who was so full of life being saddled with Alzheimer's Disease. My grandmother has it now, and it's a similar situation. But I hope that Doohan will always be remembered for the fiery personality he portrayed on the screen, and for his heroism off the screen. He was a Canadian war veteran (World War II) and fought and was wounded at D-Day.

Sláinte, James. You will be missed.

My Kid, the Super-Hero

Just got a call from my wife, Jennifer, who was out shopping with Duncan, our son. Apparently she was in the baby section of Target and looks down to see Duncan chewing on something he grabbed off one of the racks. She pulls it away from him, thinking that "oh, now we're going to have to buy this" (my wife has morals and didn't just put it back). She looks at it - and it's a Superman shirt, in his size.

My son is a freaking GENIUS.

Leave the Hoops Name to the Team that Started It

Read an article on Matchnight.com today that referred to the Dallas MLS team as "The Hoops." And this caused me great consternation. Okay, it pissed me off.

First, notice I refuse to call the Dallas team by their "team name" - see my post on the Englishization of U.S. Soccer for that.

Second, there is only ONE team that can rightly be called the Hoops - and that is Celtic. No other team, especially one that sold out their original name for a goofy-ass English-type name, should be able to use it. And most especially one that doesn't even HAVE complete hoops on their uniforms!

No, I'm not bitter.

Tour de France and Patriotism

My latest sports addiction, which usually manifests itself into my Tivo-hogging attempts to catch every possible moment of the Olympics, is the Tour de France. And why not? Everyone loves Lance Armstrong (unless your jersey reads "T-Mobile" or "CSC") and he's putting the record for most Tour wins so far out of reach of the rest of the world that NO ONE may ever catch him. Plus, he's an American, winning in a French athletic event, and of course the French suck (please, read this with an entire salt lick).

But just as much as the fascinating nature of the Tour, and pro cycling in general, with its strategy, psychology, and sheer power and endurance; I love the pageantry of the Tour. International sports have a spirit and flair that domestic sports just can't beat, in my opinion. To me, being able to fly your national flag as a moment of pure patriotism in a sporting event is tops.

And to watch such a thing in a European event is even more interesting to me, as you see not only national flags, but also the regional flags of such "nationalities" as Brittany, the Basques, Flanders, etc. The fact that those people hold on to their regional identities is fascinating to me.

I think that has something to do with the "melting pot" attitude of Americans - "you may have been something else before, but you're an American now." I generally disagree with that attitude, I've discovered; I say hold on to where you came from and celebrate it. Don't deny your citizenship as based on modern boundaries, but don't forget your heritage either.

I think that's part of the reason I've adopted the kilt as normal wear - I love to recall my ancestry in the Scottish/Irish arena by wearing a garment that harkens back to my forefathers of the Celtic persuasion. I certainly identify with them more than some of my other heritage.

So as I watch the Tour, I've been picking out flags I don't identify (and thanks to my love of flags, that's not many) and looking them up online. I have found most of them - I'll keep looking and see exactly where these folks are from, and what land it is that they truly love.

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Nails Star Wars Fans

Sweet mother of pancakes... this has to be one of the funniest damn things I've ever seen in my life.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog takes on a bunch of dorks out waiting for the last Star Wars movie to open. I'm not sure when it was filmed, but suffice to say he's really grabbed the ins and outs of the Star Wars fans.

Energy Debate Misses the Point in the Senate

An article from the Planet Ark website talks about the Senate putting off a vote on stricter fuel-consumption laws for vehicles sold in the U.S., and rejecting a bill by Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) to raise the minimum fuel economy of automobiles to 40 miles per gallon and SUVS to 27.5 mpg by 2016.

My question is... why?

Toward the bottom of the article, there's a quote by Senator Christopher Bond (R-MO) regarding the reason for voting against Durbin's bill:

Bond said stricter CAFE rules will bring further woes upon hard-pressed US automakers and impose "Soviet-style mandates" for them to build lighter, flimsier models.

Durbin's plan "costs lives, costs jobs and deprives consumers of their basic free will," Bond said.

So many things are going on in just this one quote that I have to address them all. The rest of the article speaks for itself - it's typical Republican fear-mongering about losing jobs and affecting corporations' bottoms lines, etc.

But look at what Bond said here: "stricter CAFE (corporate average fuel economy) rules will bring further woes upon hard-pressed US automakers." Look at the language he uses. Woes, hard-pressed, etc. The effort is to make these companies sound like they're downtrodden and fighting for their lives. The reality is that THEY are the ones who have gotten themselves into these jams by not producing vehicles that thought beyond the next five years or so.

The world has known forever that oil is not a renewable resource. At some point, it's going to run out. And despite that, corporations are acting like there's nothing going on at all, as if oil will always be our number one form of energy and we'll be able to go on forever sucking it out of the ground and running our big behemoth cars with it.

Well, that's obviously not the case. Fuel prices in the US have skyrocketed over the past couple years. We're actually approaching European standards for fuel prices, which I personally think is a good thing - it'll force people to seek other forms of transportation and hopefully condense some of the sprawl that we're undergoing in our major cities. And that'll curtail the need to for so many cars - more people will have the opportunity to take public transportation and hopefully massive highways full of cars will become a thing of the past.

But the automakers obviously don't want this. Their existence is the antithesis of what we NEED as manufacturers in this country. They claim it's too expensive to force better fuel consumption standards and will cause cars to become more dangerous. Again, I call foul.

The technology has existed for years to make cars more economical to own and operate. The engineers at the various companies have had such technology for a long time. Example: Hydraulic Launch Assist technology was displayed at the 2002 North American Auto Show in Detroit. Yet it's not being used anywhere yet. It's been displayed in neat little concept cars at other auto shows, but on a production vehicle? NO! And there are other examples of this as well.

The one example of this technology that has made it out of the engineers' booths and into production is hybrid technology - and the cars are so popular that Ford, Toyota, and Honda can't keep them in stock. So why not make MORE of these models? And why aren't companies like GM doing it as well?

The answer you're always going to hear is COST. Well, no innovation ever was ever created for free. You have to put money into technology to get it to market. But at the rate these vehicles are leaving the lots, the potential for profit on these models is certainly there!

To move on with the Bond quotes: the second thing that jumped out at me was his use of the term "Soviet-style mandates." Senator Bond is trying to use old Cold War paranoia to scare everyone away from doing what needs to be done. And this has been a memetic tactic of the conservatives for a couple decades now.

Instead of doing what needs to be done, conservatives claim that they don't want to turn us into a totalitarian state like the old Soviet Union. It's very interesting how that applies when it comes to economic issues, but as soon as the debate turns to social issues, they're more than happy to put us all under the yoke of their "moral" tyranny.

Using fear tactics like this is something the GOP used to great effect in the last election - fear of terrorists and "immoral" policies like those that the Democrats want to put into place (supposedly, anyway) scared many voters into voting for Bush, Delay, and their cronies. The Democrats need to figure out a way to make this look as ridiculous as it really is.

The final sentence in Bond's comments are that "Durbin's plan 'costs lives, costs jobs and deprives consumers of their basic free will,' Bond said."

Again, the fear-mongering is apparent in the first two sound bits - "costs lives, costs jobs." The lives thing is again ridiculous. SUVs and their ilk are much more dangerous than smaller, lighter cars - it's been proven time and time again. Costing jobs is ridiculous as well - the reason American jobs are being lost is that foreign products are becoming BETTER. Again, look at the hybrid car example. American corporations are afraid to change because it looks bad for the short-term bottom line.

The last line is the most preposterous of all, however: "deprives consumers of their basic free will." Fear-mongering aside, the notion that American consumers deserve the free will to drive big, gas-guzzling automobiles simply shows how out of touch the conservatives are with the rest of the world. Oil use (around 40% of which comes from the operation of automobiles) needs to go down. I've already addressed that. But how about the free will of the rest of the planet? How about the free will of people in other countries, who are facing the onset of massive global climate change because of the use of petroleum-based energy production? What about their basic free will?

More and more, I want to trumpet the words of Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. In an essay written in Dec. 2003, he stated that the environmental degradation of the world isn't just an economic or weather issue: it's a civil rights issue. The rich and affluent of the world think they have a basic human right to do whatever they want to the environment, while the poor are the ones who bear the brunt of the effects of it. Read the essay, it goes into detail that I don't have room to here.

Until this country realizes that it has a responsibility to the rest of the world, we're never going to get better. And the insular policies of the conservatives aren't helping. Comments like Bond's only make the point clearer.