Customer Service At Its Most Descriptive

Had to pay my SBC bill today, which I receive and pay online. As I was paying it, I noticed that my old residential address was still on the bill. Well, that ain't right, so I looked around on the website for a place to change that. Didn't find anything, all I found was a spot to change my password, nickname for my account, or username.

So, being the sort of person who likes to have his ducks in a row, more or less, I emailed their customer service desk. Here's my message:

When I view my eBill, I see that it has my old residential address on it. How do I change this?

And here's the response I got.

Dear Mr. Fellrath,

Thank you for your recent email. To change your account information please follow these instructions:

1. Log in to MySBC(SM) account at https://www.sbc.com/mysbc with your User ID and Password.
2. At the MySBC service Overview page, click on the Edit Profile link located on the upper right portion of the page.
3. At the MySBC account Profile page, click on the Edit button beside the information you would like to update and follow the instructions.

You may also update this information by selecting the SBC eBill Profile tab from your online bill and then clicking on Edit MySBC(SM) Profile.

Now... this was what I already did. This was where there were no options for the address. So I responded one more time...

None of the options on that page give me access to changing my address, as it appears on my eBill. Is there another place I must go to change that?

And... here's their exact response. Pay CLOSE attention to their word usage.

Dear Mr. Fellrath,

Thank you for your recent email. Please contact an Ebill
representative, at 1-8XX-XXX-XXXX for futile assistance.

Thank yoy for choosing SBC products and services.

It's all I can do not to make my next message say:

I already got your futile assistance. Now I'd like some that's actually HELPFUL.

I do think that pretty much says it all, don't you?